Today I travelled back 20 years in time…
I didn’t want to go there but it seems I had no choice. Today’s date suddenly resonates in my mind and I am thrust into the maelstrom of memories. I am lost, the waves crash over me and there I am in the full sensory cinema courtesy of mind, thought and consciousness.
Suddenly it’s not 26th October 2017, I’m back in 1997 and it’s mid-day in Portugal…
On what would have been Geoff’s 51st birthday, a group of family and local friends are gathered with me by the banks of the River Guadiana ready to say “goodbye” as we lay his ashes to rest in the River.
Random flashbacks surface – taking a moment earlier in the day to decant his ashes from the plastic urn into a brown paper bag (a tip from the Vicar who conducted the funeral service in the UK) – so they don’t blow back into the dinghy.
Greeting local friends who arrived from up-river in a boat, and being touched by the presence of the guys who were building our house and turned up to witness this strange ceremony in honour of the man they called “chefe”.
Sitting in the dinghy with my step-daughter Helen as friend Bryan steers us away from the bank and out into the flowing waters, whilst on the pontoon my step-son Nick plays the tape of Enya’s music and stands with the rest of the group watching.
The flowers Tjiske and Ydo bought are strewn on the River and float around the dinghy as I lay the ashes gently into the River and they are borne away in the current…
Fade to grey.
All this hits me when I am getting up – I am engulfed in sadness and stand in the shower and cry. I let this sadness be and give myself over to it.
Now I know why I felt odd yesterday, so bone tired I had an afternoon siesta, and even said to myself when I awoke, refreshed 2 hours later, “gosh, I remember sleeping as soundly as that sometimes during the afternoon heat in Portugal when I was living there alone afterwards”.
Now I know why I was awake half the night, and resorted to reading a light-hearted novel as sleep evaded me. All this was bubbling up but not yet in my consciousness. That part of the thought/feeling iceberg was still submerged beneath the surface!
Once again I see and feel the Three Principles flowing through me, giving me a vivid experience of that day in 1997 – and I am thankful that I understand what’s happened. I’ve created an illusion that looked and felt totally real to me and to all intent and purpose it was again – until it wasn’t.
I am calm again, the storm has passed, and it’s 2017.
In Love and Light Geoff, in love and light.