Yesterday I got an unsolicited email sent to me from a guy who claimed he’d seen my profile on LinkedIn and wanted to contact me directly as his interest was in a personal rather than business relationship.
To help me understand that his intentions were true he also told me his name and that although there was no photograph on “his LinkedIn profile” he’d attached a couple of photo’s to the email so I could see his face. He looked very smart in his evening suit and bow tie.
However, I call this approach inappropriate, creepy and a scam, and I had no intention of responding!
I forwarded it to a friend for a second opinion and she came back in no uncertain terms with “block him immediately”.
So I put a post up on Facebook asking if this was a new style scam, and had anyone else had anything similar?
Low and behold a female friend responded to tell me about an email she’d received – the wording was exactly the same, as were the photographs he’d sent her! However, she’s a savvy lady and instantly recognised the photo he’d used to be that of a well-known name in the healthy eating industry.
Clearly our man has identified his target market – ladies with an interest in healthy eating and lifestyle who work in the coaching profession. He’s thought it through and maybe is using LinkedIn to profile his targets and get their email addresses.
However, he doesn’t seem to expect that we might recognise the celebrity identity he’s stolen for the photographs, or maybe that we’d do a bit of research to find the profile on LinkedIn of the person he claims to be – who DOES have a photo on their profile (which looks nothing like the one he sent)!
Now here’s the interesting thing…
- In his world this is acceptable as a way to contact women.
- In his world it is not inappropriate behaviour which may freak some people out.
- In his world it’s OK to steal the photographic image of someone well known in the health industry and claim to be them.
- In his world it’s OK to steal the name of someone on LinkedIn and use it as his own.
- In his world we’d believe what he says without checking it out.
In his world…
And that’s the crux of it – in his thinking it makes perfect sense to use these tactics.
He lives in a different version of reality to me (and you).
He’s trying to connect with women and he’s doing it the way he’s doing it given his level of consciousness in the moment.
Does that mean I condone his behaviour?
At one end of the scale he may just be sad and lonely, or, at the other end of the scale, a callous con man or even a dangerous predator.
However, I can feel compassion for the soul of another human being who is so lost and feeling so separate, or so angry and desperate that this is his route to what he wants, which, at the end of the day is to feel better.
Who knows what his personal circumstances are, where he lives and how he exists.
Whatever and wherever, acting this way is the best he’s got in this moment.
He is looking outside of himself for recognition, connection and happiness. He has created the illusion that that’s how he’ll get it, an he’s living in to that self-created reality.
What he’s seeking can never be found by looking in that direction – however much he feels that’s where he’ll find it.
My hope for him is the hope of the Three Principles that form the foundation of all human experience. The Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness that flow through us and generate our experience of reality, moment to moment to moment.
My wish is that he may have a moment of insight and see things differently. It may occur to him that there’s another, kinder way to be in this world. That he doesn’t have to validate himself at the expense of another.
In other words, there’s nothing outside of him which causes love, pain, harm, insecurity, well-being or peace of mind. That always comes from within – however much it may seem it’s the other way around.
He may wake up to the understanding that life works from the inside-out and not the other way around. That he’s always living in the felt experience of his thinking, not his circumstances.
In the meantime I pray he does no harm to any woman, and finds his way home to peace and connection.
And I also know that that’s out of my hands, the Universe has got this whichever way it plays out. It’s not my responsibility – but that’s a topic for another blog!
Clarity Coach – Feel Calm, Find Clarity, Enjoy Peace Of Mind